A New Nose

Ok, really, its the same old nose, but there is a little less of it. After surgery the doctor informed me that they pulled out a bbbiiiiigggg chunk of cartilage, so I should notice a big difference. I hope I do.

I guess I will start with the beginning of this story, because I find it somewhat interesting if not super interesting. Maybe like... medium to medium rare interesting.

So, I got up EAF. I was staying with my grandparents who graciously agreed to take me to the hospital. This was no doubt before they learned that they would have to drive me to the hospital at 6 in the morning. Despite the early time they made good on our arrangement, for which I am enormously grateful. So there I was, awake supa' early, without any food or drink since midnight the day before and on my way to the hospital.

This was just a minor procedure so I wasn't really nervous, but there was still going to be a man in a white mask sticking pointy things up my nose so maybe I was a little nervous. When we got to the hospital everything went as planned. I headed in to Day Surgery, got myself a dress, a nice little room to myself and I was ready to go. This was however still two hours before surgery.

Most of the wait was just that... a wait... but there were some interesting things. The nurses asked me all sorts of interesting questions about my medical history, everyone kept asking me who I was as if they had forgotten... or as if I had... I suppose it was good I had that handy little wrist band with my name on it... then came the less fun part of waiting for surgery... getting an IV.

Usually, a nurse comes up to you gives you an IV and is on his/her merry little way. This was a little different. A nurse came up to me, with all the necessary tools in tow, and we start up standard pre-surgery conversation like: "how's the weather?" Anyways in this pre-surgery conversation she merrily chirps out "this will make you my twentieth IV." Twentieth? I told her that she was supposed to tell me that I was her two hundredth IV... she said she didn't want to lie.

Fear not, twenty seemed like plenty and she seemed skilled enough. She grabbed my hand, looked for an appropriate vein, and without flinching or blinking or inging stuck the IV needle into my hand. Now, I don't have a lot of experience with IVs since my last one was put in while I was unconscious, but it seemed to me like this was hella painful. Still, I didn't want to be a wuss so I toughed it up and said everything was fine. Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch.

The needle was in. Thank God. My hand was stinging like crazy and the nurse was packing up and getting ready to go.

"So, can you feel that?" She asked me.

"Yeah, it hurts." Said I.

"No, can you feel the fluids." She clarified.

"Wha?" Said I, bewildered.

She looked at my hand, then at the little drippy thing on the IV, then back to my hand.

"Oh no." Said she.

When your hand is stinging like crazy because there is a little tubey thing protruding from it "oh no" is the last thing you want to hear. The fluid was not going into my arm... why? We missed the vein.

Gah.

Yeah... I'm not so good with needles. I can handle them, but... yeah. Not so good. My nurse, with many apologies went through the process of removing a bloody IV thingy from my super sore hand. I told her not to apologize, as she was learning and we all have to start somewhere, but she apologized nonetheless.

Now, throughout this saga it became quite interesting with the nurse checking out my veins. Apparently my veins have a tendency to move around when prodded and they are kinda weby. When my regular nurse came back I was glad to see that it was she who was going to take stab numero two at the IV. She looked at a vein in my wrist that was a little better and she went to it. The second attempt was painless. This could have been because my other hand hurt so much from the first one, but either way... painless.

My neighbour had laughed at my plight through our dividing curtain while this was all underway, and I can't really blame him, I was laughing too. It was pretty funny, though looking at my bruised hand maybe it wasn't that funny after all. I later had to yell through the curtain at my neighbour and the nurses as they told him that "he has nice veins."

Nice veins. Pffft.

Really, that was more exciting than any surgery could possibly. When they came the nurse introduced himself, asked me if I knew who I was and what I was doing there, and then he wheeled me into surgery. Last time I was gassed, but this time it was IV. I entered the room, with some presence I might add, introduced myself, and declared why I was there. I lay down on the little bed/table/thing and prepared myself. A little warm fan blew warm air up my dress as the anaesthesteissitis injected something into my IV.

I love how surgery goes...

"You should be feeling the drugs kicking in now." Said the anaesthesteissitis.

"Its all over." Said a nurse.

Instant surgery. Boo-yah! Recovery for me was not as traumatizing as last time. Last time I woke up screaming, and no amount of morphine could squelch my pain. This time, I woke up with a little ache in my nose and a lovely nurse asking if I needed more morphine... yes please!

Good times.

I dozed for a while with an ice pack sitting on my head, and it was not too long before I was free to go. A short nap later and I saw Grandma walking into Day Surgery pushing a four-wheeled chariot. I sat in the mighty throne, bid the fantastic nurses and doctors adieu, and rolled away.

Grandpa had the van ready, and I went from one ride to another as we headed home. Other than my nearly getting sick in the van, stupid pain killers, we made it home and my recovery was pretty uneventful. I rested with Grandma and Grandpa for a while and then a friend picked me up. We headed to 711 to acquire my favourite beverage and seemed to cause a stir at the counter.

"Did she hit you?" The cashier asked me.

I nodded solemnly.

After that we went to the house... to which I had no key. Evidently I was on some pretty strong drugs, and not only was I hilarious to watch, but I was a bit out of it. The key was at Grandma and Grandpa's house. So, we skipped our house and headed to Blockbuster and then to my sister's house.

Blockbuster was another interesting story. I don't recall all of it, but I remember sitting on the floor at some point, and then I remember being at the counter. Evidently you usually need ID to rent a movie, but in my current state the attendants seemed to forgo it. I wasn't sure what name the account was under, or what number, so I spouted out phone numbers and names until they got the right one. Everyone at the counter seemed interested in my since I was a bit... high, per se... and I was bleeding into the bandage under my nose.

I dutifully informed them that my friend had struck me in the face, to which she replied "well, next time I get to choose the movie."

Fun was had by all!

The days after that have been a blur. I remember lots of movies. Lots of different people babysitting me. I remember cleaning out my nose with water (bleaugh). I remember switching out my bandage. I remember percocet... sweet sweet percocet... and I remember being sick from drugs. I was supposed to be back in Drayton on Monday, but I was definitely suffering from severe nausea and it was not a good idea to drive. I took Monday off, so I could just rest Sunday night, watching more movies with my abusive friend, and then drive back to Drayton on Monday.

I have not been productive at all after surgery. It seems a lot harder to do anything then I remember, even driving back here took all day. It took like half the day to pack, half the day to unpack, and half the day to drive... not necessarily in that order.

Even now... I went to work today but I was not at my best. My nose hurts, it keeps leaking, and the drugs make me sleepy... Hopefully I heal quickly and then I will be super productive again.

Still, it has been an adventure. Oh yeah, so those IVs. When I woke up from surgery one would think that the pain in my hand would be the first thing I noticed. Nope. The first thing I noticed was the pain from my failed IV. Also, there is almost no bruise from the IV that worked, but from that first the back of my hand has turned a painful back and blue. I wish that poor nurse well, she did a hell of a better job than I would.

Anyways, I am off to enjoy trying to comprehend a movie whilst enjoying Tylenol 3.

I am excited for the swelling to go down... I can't wait to breathe!!!

Chaos sans Photos

I have not written in a while. At first it was because things were too boring and I had nothing to say, and then, it was because so much was happening I did not have time to say anything at all. I now have an unexpected pause in which I will regale you with the events of late.

Usually I am busy, but lately things have been a little bit crazy. I suppose my life is always a little bit crazy, so then lately things have been a little bit more than a little bit crazy. So much so, that I am writing you now in what was supposed to be the middle of the craziness, however, in the true nature of chaos my plans have shifted yet again. This has resulted in me sitting here on my couch, groggy from a lack of sleep and the inconvenience of time changes, writing you of the adventures that have happened and the ones that will not.

I guess it really isn't that exciting, just busy.

Work has been busy. I have been working on a project for a while now, and though it is not complete it was functional. We went into Calgary last week for a meeting. It seems strange, technically I live in Rocky Rapids, but I do not seem to spend a great deal of time here. Away for a weekend, back for a few days, and then to Calgary for a few days. The meetings we had were good, as good as meetings can be at least, and I did my best to dazzle my co-workers with a demonstration of my project. I would like to think that they were sufficiently dazzled by my exciting project, but, I think the project is really only exciting to me and maybe it wasn't that dazzling. Either way, it was a good trip to Calgary and a good team building event.

The meetings were not really the team building part, it was what happened after the meetings. The entire thing was a big secret, and we had been guessing at what kind of event you can do with 30 people with varying interests and tastes. They chose an excellent event. We headed off to a small cooking school where we were split into teams and expected to cook a meal that we were then expected to eat. Unreasonable? I know. But we gave it a go anyways. This reminded me of when I started my MBA in New Brunswick. In our first week of orientation we did a similar, if not identical event (save for the menu). It was a great event then, except that one of our teams did not execute their portion of the meal quite correctly, resulting in us not being able to eat that portion. Correction, people could eat it if they wanted to... could.

I had some fears of that this time, but we went on full bore ahead anyways. My team was given the task of preparing salad and vegetables. Those who know me might find this ironic as I generally avoid vegetables, especially salad, like the plague. Oh well, I had to prepare them, but nowhere was it writ that I had to eat them. So prepare them we did. We thought we had the easiest job, but when we looked around the kitchen it was us who finished our preparations last.

The meal was served, and all courses were prepared to at the minimal with an edible amount of expertise. This was already better than my MBA meal. We ate, and it was good. I did try out vegetables, I figured that red peppers and carrots were a safe bet. They were... ok... In the end the different courses were judged and by some freak accident, and by freak accident I mean incredible culinary expertise and flawless teamwork, our team won. We took our bows, and I added to my collection of PennWest propaganda a rather nice backpack. Everyone was given a PennWest apron, and good times were had by all.

After that we headed to Melrose on 17th, which brought back a great deal of memories from High School, since Melrose is across the street, and then I headed off to meet a friend while the rest of the crew moved on to the next location. When I left my friend so that she might get some sleep before work the next day I headed back to the hotel. On the way (since I was on foot) I saw some of our guys outside smoking in front of another bar and I rejoined the PennWest engineering pack. It was a good night, and at 2:30 amish, I called it a night.

The next morning me and some of the less hungover guys headed to the Palliser for breakfast and then hit the road.

We were back in Drayton for the afternoon, where I was able to get some work done, and then home, sleep, awake, work, sleep, and time to pack for the long weekend. The packing was not a big issue. The big issue was when it was time to go, and I headed outside, loaded my loaner truck and started it up. By started it up I mean turned the key to hear... nothing. The truck was dead. I was able to boost the truck but now I was a bit concerned. I was heading to Edmonton to fly to Toronto for the weekend, and when I returned I was to be in Edmonton for work meetings. This seemed like valid reason to use my work truck, so I called my boss to get his permission and I was on the road.

Getting to Toronto was uneventful. I didn't get hassled too much for carrying around a sword, and I got on the shuttle to Guelph and checked in all before 11 pm. One of my long time friends was already there and waiting and we had a chance to catch up a bit before heading to bed.

The following two days were filled with enormous amounts of martial arts training. It is always good to see the different martial artists. We are a relatively small group so it is nice to catch up once in a while. Also, you have to think that if you usually do 2-4 hours of practice a week, and then suddenly you do two 8 hour days, in those two days you just did 1-2 months of training. That sounds tiring, and let me tell you... it was. It was also amazing. I feel this this was the best seminar I had yet been to, and I feel that I learned a great deal.

This was to be a good seminar either way, because I graded last December I didn't have to test this time. Well, that was how I thought it went. Evidently there is a little loophole in the system that worked in my favour. It turns out that I live a long way away from Guelph, and that means there is a little flexibility on my grading. I was informed that if I wanted I could do the test this weekend so that I did not have to return in December. I would not be awarded the grade until December, but it would save me a trip. I jumped at this idea because it could easily save me $800. This was then very interesting because where you would usually get months to prepare for a grading I had two days. Two days was enough. I keep up on my practice and I was relatively confident. I met up with my partner for the last test and the two of us practiced hard to get used to each other's technique. When it came to the test yesterday I did my best and felt like I had an excellent run. Everyone grading for the second dan in Jodo passed... including me!

It was a great weekend. I passed my test, my friend passed his test, we checked out of the hostel, and headed into the arboretum. Guelph has an amazing arboretum, if you want to see just go check out my photo album.

We headed back to Toronto where he headed back to Saskatoon and I headed to a U of T Hostel for the night. This morning I caught my plan EAF and somehow made it back to Edmonton. As I said, I was supposed to be in meeting in Edmonton tonight, and tomorrow, but things seem to change around a bit. The meetings were cancelled. I arrived in Edmonton without issue (including getting through Toronto airport with my sword without issue... which is a rare thing... they are soooo picky at TO) and then I headed back to Drayton.

I got back early, but I had some late nights, early mornings, and with the time change my internal clock is all messed up. I boosted my loaner truck and took it for a ride to give the battery a charge and then I went inside to waste away the day. And that is what I have done. I showered. Had a nap. Ate lunch and watched a movie. Had another nap... and now I am here, checking e-mail and writing to you. I am contemplating another nap, but I need to stay up to a decent hour to try and reset my internal clock.

Tomorrow I will check the truck again, as on Thursday my life continues with its usual chaos. I will be driving back to Calgary so that on Friday I can have a nose job. Nose job?! Yes yes, I always thought there was a little too much on the top... just kidding... I am having nose surgery though. I am having my deviated septum... undeviated? Well, we will see how it goes. I hope like hell that truck can get me there or else I am going to have to come up with another plan very quickly.

So. Tomorrow I work. The next day I work. And then surgery. Fun. Fun. Fun.

I will let you know how it goes.

Oh yeah, and next time you see me, let me know how it looks!

Free Food... With a Catch

So, Mom wanted to clean out the upstairs freezer (you know, one of those half of the fridge type freezers), and it so happened that I was going to be in Calgary for a few days while I took a course through work. We made plans to clean the freezer, as we always do, and then in the few days when we were both in Calgary at the same time we failed, as we always do, to execute the project.

In order to remedy this and to defeat the freezer once and for all we decided some kind of division of labour. Mom was going to Mexico so she clearly couldn't take the first move, so it was up to me. She said to go through the freezer, take what I wanted, if anything, and leave the rest for her to go through. In this process I did take the liberty of throwing out those things which were completely unidentifiable, or the things that we were able to identify but wished we weren't.

So that is how it went. A friend and I dove into the freezer to tackle this seemingly gargantuan job. Why she helped me I do not know, but I am glad someone was there to grab me by the heel to pull me back out again.

Shelf by shelf we went through everything in the freezer. It was kind of amazing what we found. There were what looked like well packaged and hopefully well preserved foods, and then there were some half opened but potentially well preserved foods, and then there were the foods that scarcely resembled foods.

In this process I found some stuff that was mine, and some other stuff that looked ok. I tossed it in a cooler to take home. When we threw out the really bad stuff there was still quite a bit of good food for Mom and Dad.

This was a good situation, I grabbed a little extra food, and now Mom only had to go through the remaining stuff to see what she wanted and what not. We even took the time to sort everything so that they might find stuff instead of just giving up and leaving it in the back (which seems to be our usual system).

Anyways, I took my food and I headed back to Rocky Rapids.

That was food, and here comes the catch.

The next night I thawed out a steak of some sort for supper. It was not packaged that well, but the saran seemed to keep out most of the frost bite. I cracked open a garlic sausage that was almost completely unwrapped, and then the dregs of a pack of bacon that was sort of in a bag.

The steak, it turns out was almost untouched by its lengthy stay in the freezer. The garlic sausage had definitively dry ends, but was perfectly edible. The backon on the other hand... I got one of my five slices down and was done. I supposed the smell of it should have turned me off, but it was bacon! I only ate the one slice... well, the once slice and one bite of another slice to confirm... and then I tossed it.

Overall, I am expecting a sort of 50/50 on this food as some seems ok, and some... not so much.

So it has been an adventure, but the real adventure happened the morning after the bacon. Have you ever had a bathroom emergency? Sure you have, we all have them from time to time. Now, imagine having a bathroom emergency while you are in a pool.

Oh yeah. How do you manage to swim across the pool as fast as you can (while holding in your business), and then get up on the deck (while still holding in your business), and then sprinting to the change room (nonchalantly of course), and then, and only then execute said emergency. Let me tell you, it is tricky, and I never did finish my swim that day. Maybe it is because I could not handle the walk of shame back across the deck and into the pool, or maybe its just because I know these things come in pairs... or triples if its a bad day...

Anyways. The moral of the story is, even if your Mom says you can take what food you want, it might not always be a good idea...

Yeah... watch out.

Gahhhh.

Thor

Ok, so tonight at 12:01 am Thor is released. Naturally, since I want to see it and since I happen to be in Calgary I am going to go. That is not the interesting part. The interesting part is that when my friend and I went online to buy our tickets we were faced with something we had never seen before... Seat selection.

Remember kids, you heard it here first. Movies now cost $17 and you can select your own seat. Also, the ticket is two pages and you print it at home.

This is the future... choose your own seat and kill the forest... and do it brokely...

Thor!!!

The Sickness

How can I possibly produce mucus as fast as it is coming out of my nose?!

Thanks Mom for sharing this one.

Nightmares

So, everyone gets nightmares... right? I mean, at least once in a while... right?!

Here's the situation, what do you do if almost every time you dream you get nightmares (like 97.8% of the times), and what do you do if you happen to be dreaming a lot? Doesn't that seem like a lot of nightmares. One night a week would be a lot of nightmares, but what do you do if you are looking at something more like five or six times a week?

That is the situation.

This situation is an issue to which I have no solution. The only real solution that jumps to mind is... don't sleep. When I tried to implement this solution it resulted in some unforeseen side-effects such as excessive sleepiness, deep sleep, and 100% chance of nightmares. This solution really just seems to have replicated the problem and is not seeming to be overly effective.

So I tried to come up with another idea... just now... ... ...

Yeah...

I'm runnin' on empty here.

Maybe I will just stop dreaming... that would be nice.

Maybe I will just stop having nightmares! That would be better.

Anyways. Sleep sucks.

Night.